Leaving Home
by LittleKnux2008
Summary: Four years after coming to Atlantis, a wormhole is established and the expedition is ordered home. Spoilers of and before Letters From Pegasus. ST, MW. R&R please!
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **Another Atlantis story! Hope you guys enjoy! The prologue is sort of general, but, hey, it's a prologue lol. Praise and constructive criticism welcomed!  
**Updates: **At the moment, I've completed Chapters 1-7, so I will update every 4-7 days (somewhere in between there). If anyone is willing to beta, help would be much appreciated!  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Stargate Atlantis" or any of the characters. I do own the plot and whatnot (like everyone is pining to steal it...)  
**Distribution: **Here; once completed it'll be on "What If?" w/banners and on Microsoft Word format.  
**Pairing(s): **McWeir, Sheyla, remnants of Simon/Elizabeth  
**Timeline: **Four years after they 'gated to Atlantis.

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All they had thought about in the beginning was coming home. How long would it be, they wondered, before they could once again see their homes? How long until they could see family again? Questions rang through their heads nonstop. All of the expedition members had agreed to come, yes, but that didn't mean that they didn't long for a chance to be on Earth once more. Tantalizing had been the taste of Earth they'd gotten so long ago, only to realize it was simply an act.

But now, four years later, they had established a wormhole with Earth. The dreams of a homecoming had been so far and few between since the first year. A shock went through the expedition. Now, with the new technology that Earth had obtained, they could go back. Earth, the place they had so longed to return to, was only a step away.

All of Atlantis had been ordered to go back to Earth by the new powers-that-be. A review of the expedition was being prepared for. None of them were fools. They knew that they would not be coming back to Atlantis for a very long time. So much of what they had done to preserve their colony had been against the laws of Earth that it would be political suicide to allow their return.

Four years ago, all of Atlantis would have accepted the command to return to Earth—even indefinitely—with open arms. Yet, now, it seemed as if fate had robbed them. They'd built up the idea of returning to Earth so much it felt uneventful now. The expedition packed their bags with few words. They would return, not with hearts swelling with good memories and happiness at seeing Earth again, but with memories that turned bittersweet in their hearts, knowing that they would no longer have anymore memories of Atlantis. It felt like betrayal: that the memories would eventually fade away and slip their minds. Everyone they had met—it would be impossible to stay in connection with them all. Where would they go? To see their loved ones, yes, but afterward? Looking into the future filled them with emptiness. There was no more purpose for their lives.

What was it all for? Everything that they risked, everything that had been lost? There would be no benefit from this expedition for Earth. If they could just stay—just a few more years…! But it would not happen. Atlantis would be no longer. The jumpers would be shipped by SGC personnel, their hands impersonal as they shipped away the very ships that had saved each member of the expedition more than once. After anything useful was collected, Atlantis would be left. The lights would dim until darkness settled over the place. Atlantis, once the majestic home of the Ancients, would fade with the lights. It was an unfair ending for a place so great.

The new general of the SGC wanted all of the expedition back within a week—and all of the days would be needed. Memories of the last few years brought nearly everyone taking mindless walks to the places within Atlantis that felt so dear. Their soulful feet brought them before the people that had inspired them. An air of understanding wrapped around the blanket of sullenness that fell on Atlantis. Jumpers flew constantly between the mainland and Atlantis as the expedition members said tearful goodbyes to the Athosians, who had collectively chosen to stay. People who didn't even know each other said their own farewells with tight hugs and well wishes.

Their return to Earth, the joyful occasion they'd all envisioned it as, was merely an image; a fake. That was the one word that described it all: fake. Fake were the dreams of happiness, fake were the illusions of free travel between Earth and Atlantis; having the best of both worlds. Nothing was real but the anguish and sorrow that filled the deepest corners of their hearts. Sure, they wanted to see their loved ones, but it didn't seem so important now as it did back then.

In fact, nothing seemed as important as Atlantis. It had been a saying created long before their time—you don't know what you have until you've lost it. Long sighs escaped their lips as they soaked in every detail of the last days they had until they were forced to leave. Whoever had put that concept into words was wiser than anyone they had come across. Atlantis had seemed like a gift and a curse but now, with the promise of no return, it gleamed like a diamond in the rough. The mere thought of the predicament they now found themselves in had never occurred to anyone. Why would they ever consider the thought that Atlantis would be dearer to them than home?

Home, as they realized mournfully as the hours on Atlantis ticked away, was not Earth. No one was going home—they were leaving. As far as everyone was concerned…

…Atlantis was home.


	2. Chapter I

**Author's Note: **Thanks to _PurpleYin_, _SnkNJak_, _Margaret_ (I so agree!) and _Teyla Sheppard _for reviewing. :) The reviews really made my day; I'm glad you like this. As a "warning" I guess, to any people anti-Sheyla, this chapter is really, _really _Sheyla-centered. Anyway, I hope you continue to enjoy. Please review!  
**Spoilers: **Little reference to "Home" I guess; not much else.  
**Disclaimer/Distribution: **See the first chapter.

* * *

Major John Sheppard stood off to the side as the as the Athosians and the expedition members mingled for what was quite possibly the last time. John kept himself in stony silence, not trusting his emotions enough to step into the poignant meeting. There were so many feelings running through his head that he couldn't keep up. On one level, there was the obvious sadness. He didn't want to leave anyone on Atlantis, nor the mainland. Especially not **her**: how could he just…leave her? Beneath the masked sadness, a sheet of anger withheld. How did the leaders of Earth dare claim that they knew what was best for Atlantis? They knew nothing about what had happened. Whose stupid decision was this?

"Why do you stand alone?" he didn't have to turn to know that the soft inquiry came from Teyla Emmagan, but he did. She was so beautiful—and she didn't recognize it. He could stare at her for hours on end and not feel the slightest hint of boredom. The grace in which she carried herself, the spark of energy in her eyes—everything about her marveled him.

"I don't like goodbyes," John replied simply. Teyla nodded and they watched the grief-filled goodbyes between the people around them in silence.

"Why is it that no one wishes to return to Earth?" Teyla asked suddenly, gazing at John with curiosity in her eyes. "What I have seen of Earth is a beautiful place. Should you not be eager to return to your home world?"

It was the same question that John had asked himself numerous times. Why was it that they were reluctant to leave Atlantis? The answer had come to him steadily. Atlantis was their home—more a home to them than Earth was. They had laid down their lives not for Earth—but for Atlantis. Being on Atlantis had changed them all. "Atlantis has become our home," John said, unable to meet Teyla's stare, "and…" he paused before continuing, "it's the people that make a place home, not where you were born."

"Do you not have any loved ones to return to?" Teyla questioned. It was a quality he liked about her—he didn't have to wade through the pointless sugar-coating that other people put on their words. Teyla said what was on her mind.

"No," he said shortly, finally finding the courage to look at her. "My loved ones are here, not on Earth," his eyes displayed the meaning his lips wouldn't let escape from his mouth. He had grown to love nearly everyone and everything on Atlantis. He loved the geeky scientists who let out squeals that rivaled those of schoolgirls when something new was found, he loved Ford and his goofiness, he loved Elizabeth for her strength and character and hell, he even loved McKay for his McKay-ness. But most of all…he loved Teyla. "Teyla…" he said finally. "What would you say if I stayed here?"

Teyla frowned. "That is against the law of your people, is it not?" she questioned carefully, no emotion passing through the mask she'd pulled across her face.

"I don't care," John replied, his voice thick, "Elizabeth can make up some excuse that I'm not there. I can't just…leave."

"John," she said, placing her delicate hand on his shoulder. "Atlantis is only a location. It does not contain people's souls."

"I'm not talking about leaving _Atlantis_," John replied, "I'm talking about leaving you." There. It was out there, wide in the open for anyone to dissect. "I love you, Teyla," he whispered. Through all of the things they had been through, he had never once said those words. These seven days that they had—now down to five—were and would be the time to say things that had never been said before. And now, John had said his part.

"Do not be rash…" Teyla murmured softly, looking at the ground.

"I'm not," John insisted.

"Your people…they need you…" she continued, still refusing to make eye contact with him.

"Teyla," John grasped her shoulders firmly and looked down at her. "They'll get through it. I…I need to know how…" he swallowed tightly, his eyes pleading, "…you feel about me."

"John…" Teyla squirmed in his grasp. _'He has to return home with his people. His people need him; it is where he belongs,' _the overbearing thoughts ran through her head. _'If I tell him…if I tell him he'll stay. How can I do that? I cannot keep him from his world for which he has so longed to see once more, just as I cannot leave here. Perhaps it is for the best if I just…' _

"One word, Teyla," John said earnestly, not allowing her to escape his grasp just yet, "Do you feel the same way about me or not?"

"I…" Teyla stopped, looking away. Her eyes fell on the other Athosians and she felt the heavy burden of her duty fall upon her shoulders once more. She couldn't leave and John—he had to go. Wouldn't it be for the best if there was nothing for him to regret? "No," Teyla whispered finally, feeling the blood rush through her body as the lie fell from her lips. She could feel the significant loosening of John's grip and blinked rapidly. _'It's for the best…' _she repeated to herself.

John swallowed; feeling like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He had been so _sure_… "Look me in the eye," he whispered, his voice hoarse, "and tell me."

Teyla looked up, battling the sheer screen of tears that pulled over her eyes. "It…it would never work," she said softly.

"Elizabeth would let me stay, I know she would," John persisted. "She would understand. I **want **to stay," he looked her in the eyes, "I have nothing for me on Earth. Everything I want, everything I need…is here."

Teyla glanced away for a moment, too consumed with emotion to reply immediately. "I can't make you stay here," she told him, "and if I say yes you will."

"It's my decision to make, isn't it?" John pressed, and Teyla continued looking away, knowing that if she looked at him her eyes would betray what she was struggling to keep inside. "Isn't it?"

"Sir, everyone is on board and waiting," Lieutenant Ford approached John. He had done what he could to give him more time to speak to Teyla, but they had to leave now.

"All right, I'll be there in a second," John replied, never once letting his eyes stray from Teyla's face. Ford nodded and turned, heading for the jumper. Teyla sighed and met John's eyes.

"You must go," she told him, clasping her hands tightly together.

"Teyla…" John pleaded with her, but she stepped back.

"I am sorry John," Teyla stepped back once more. _'I can't do this to him…' _Lieutenant Ford appeared behind John, reluctant to leave but knowing they had to hurry back.

"Yes or no, Teyla?" John asked, knowing it came down to this moment.

"I…" Teyla looked into his eyes and swallowed tightly. "No," she said firmly. It took all of her strength to remain calm and stand upright as John's eyes clouded over.

"Sir, we really **have **to get going," Ford said uncertainly, feeling like he'd intruded on a private matter. John nodded. He started to say goodbye to Teyla, but his tongue fumbled over the words. In the end, he turned and strode down the jumper, his words unspoken, his head down and his heart numbed. Ford glanced at Sheppard before looking back at Teyla and nodding. "I'll see ya," Ford said, his throat closing. He couldn't find the strength to say goodbye, but he knew he'd never see her again.

"Goodbye, Lieutenant Ford," Teyla said. Her eyes had glassed over and she was pursing her lips to keep her cries silent. Aiden hugged her quickly.

"Good luck, Teyla," he said, nodding to her before walking toward the jumper. Teyla watched in lonely silence as he climbed aboard the jumper. A few moments later, the Ancient ship lifted into the air and started its journey back to the city. Alone, Teyla wrapped her arms around her waist and let the salty tears run their course down her face.


	3. Chapter II

Elizabeth Weir sighed as she tossed another handful of her things into one of the military-issued boxes. For the past hour she had been packing away all of her things. During the past half hour, Rodney had been sitting with her; the two chatting like it was any other day; any normal day on Atlantis.The conversation was a gentle reminder of what would be lost, but they both, on some subconscious level, refused to speak of their upcoming departure.Elizabeth put her hands on her hips and surveyed the room after dumping the pile. _'This is the last thing left…' _she thought, staring at the piece of furniture, similar to a dresser, standing before her.

"So…who are you looking forward to seeing?" Elizabeth glanced behind her at the sudden change in conversation. Rodney was sitting on the edge of her bed, continuing the rhythmic tapping of his feet against the bed frame. She shrugged, pulling open another drawer as she reluctantly thought about it. There was Simon… Elizabeth frowned and shook her head. _'No…there is no Simon. You let him go years ago,' _she reminded herself of the message she'd taped that Simon had undoubtedly already received.

"My dog," she said finally, glancing over her shoulder back at Rodney. "What about you? Anyone special?"

Rodney frowned slightly,scooting back on the bed untilhis back touched the wall.For a moment, he sat in silence, simply watching Elizabeth pack as he thought about his answer."My sister," he said after a long internal debate, his voice quiet, sorroweating at his tone,his eyes darting away from Elizabeth's for a brief moment."Other than that, there's really no one…well, except my cat, but he lives with the neighbor now…" he trailed off, finding himself wondering ifhis cat even noticed that he'd gone. Then again, it had been nearly four years…

"What about your parents?" Elizabeth asked.

Rodney looked down at his hands, frowning deeply. "I…I didn't have the best family life," he said, his words staggered. He didn't bother to ask about Elizabeth's parents. McKay knew they'd past away before she'd left for Atlantis. "Don't you have a boyfriend?" Rodney asked tentatively. He and Elizabeth had gotten to be extremely close friends over the years, but there had always been an unwritten taboo about speaking of how things were just before they left Earth.

Elizabeth bit her lip. "I believe in long distance relationships, but I think light-years away is a little much," she told Rodney, laughing hollowly. She sighed before continuing, "I…gave him a message," she kneeled down, focusing on closing the box. "It wasn't fair for him to wait for me."

"If he's smart he will," Rodney said, and immediately clamped his mouth shut, inwardly swearing to himself in the silence that followed. "I don't want to go," Rodney blurted out suddenly. Elizabeth stoodfrom her kneelingpositionand looked at him, her eyes curious.

"Why not?" she questioned. Weir walked over to the bed, sitting down next to him. She had been having similar thoughts.

"It's just…" Rodney looked down at his hands. "It doesn't feel right, you know?" he looked up, his eyes searching hers for a reply.

Elizabeth smiled weakly. "I do," she told him, and sighed. "Everything's changed so much since we left."

Rodney eyed her. "You mean everyone."

Elizabeth nodded. "Everyone has. You, me, John, Teyla, Aiden, Radek, Carson, everyone."

"It's odd, you know, now that you think about it. The first few months we got here all we could think about was going home, and now that we've got the chance to…" he trailed off, leaving his sentence unfinished. Elizabeth, however, knew just what he meant. In the brief silence, she looked down at her hands, thinking of just how much things had changed.

"I'm going to miss everyone so much," she stated, her eyes sorrowful. "I just can't imagine not waking up to this," she gestured around the room, "everyday, seeing all of these people…" she exhaled softly. "It would be impossible to stay in touch with so many people. Just thinking about getting separated from them…" she frowned.

"I agree," Rodney replied, surprising her. Usually it took a lot more time into a conversation before he would even mention a scare care about the others on the base. "With the exception of Kavanagh, of course."

"Out of all the people to survive this long on Atlantis, he had to be one of them," Elizabeth said dryly.

"Well, you know what they say about cockroaches…" Rodney trailed off. "I think he was a cockroach in a previous life."

"Don't make fun of cockroaches!" Elizabeth said, grinning widely. "But seriously," she said, the smile on her face fading, "Can you imagine doing anything else? Living life any other way?"

Rodney shook his head and glanced at her. "No," he replied. "I guess we're going to be employed in the SGC program."

Elizabeth sighed. "I doubt I will be. I've broken about every rule there is to break."

"I think we all have," Rodney said, "but whatever they decide…" he sighed, "we're going to have to live with."

"Yeah…" Elizabeth frowned. "Sometimes I wish that they hadn't been able to contact us."

"Oh, I'm way ahead of you on that." Rodney looked up at the ceiling. "It's kind of weird when you think about it, though, I agree." At Elizabeth's look he continued. "I mean… I… I'm going to miss this," he looked around at the room. "Where else can I save a city day after day?" he said, meant to be joking, but his tone came out serious. Rodney looked at Elizabeth, pausing for a moment. "I'll miss you," he told her. "And the rest of them, too," he added as an afterthought.

"I'll miss you too, Rodney," she told him.

A long reach of quiet extended between them before Rodney stood up. "I'd better finish my packing," he announced.

"All right," Elizabeth said,standing as well."I should finish, too," she said, gazing at him.

"Right…" he fidgeted uncomfortably, "I'll talk to you later."

Elizabeth smiled warmly. "Okay. See you in a while, Rodney," he nodded and turned, heading for the door. "Wait!" Elizabeth called out, and he turned. "Do you…Do you have someone waiting for you on Earth?" she asked, stumbling briefly over the words. There was an odd look in her eyes as she looked at him. Elizabeth felt her heart leaping at her rib cage in the silence that followed.

"No," he answered slowly. He titled his head, frowning lightly in his deep confusion.Her question had come out of essentially nowhere."Why do you want to know?" he asked finally.

Elizabeth pressed forth a smile. "No reason; just wondering," she said quickly. Truth to be told, she hadn't an idea where the nagging question had come from;only that it needed answering.Rodney nodded and left the room, leaving Elizabeth to turn back to her packing. She paused halfway through putting the last pile of things on top and looked around her quarters. It struck her that this was probably the last time that she would ever be there.

"Forget it," she murmured aloud to the empty room. Elizabeth sighed. These were everyone's final days on Atlantis…and there was nothing anyone could do to change that.

**

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Author's Note: Hope you liked! Thanks to Hans for the beta-reading :). Please review!**

**Thanks to the following reviewers:**  
_Teyla Sheppard (Phew...That was my first real attempt at Sheyla, so I'm glad I didn't fail miserably)  
cherry  
M. McBride  
Silent Cobra  
mya croft  
Margaret  
PurpleYin_


	4. Chapter III

Aiden Ford twirled the pen in his hand as he sat in his quarters, a blank mission report in front of him. He sighed, shifting in his seat. The procrastinator in him had insisted that he had more than enough time to finish the mission reports that he didn't write, but now it had bitten him. He needed to finish all of them before he left. Aiden moved his arms, continuing to twirl the pen between his fingers. He'd finished five reports and had three more to go. _'We ship out at 0800 tomorrow,' _he reminded himself, and rubbed his temples in frustration. What a way to spend his last days on Atlantis; holed up in his room writing down his adventures for people that probably wouldn't even understand their significance. Shouldering off the thought that these were his last hours on Atlantis, he poised himself to begin writing.

**Destination: **PG0189

The series of numbers and letters clicked instantly in Aiden's mind, and he winced. It wasn't like he hated writing these reports (immensely hated, anyway; he agreed they were a pain); there were reasons that he hadn't settled down and written them immediately. PG0189 was an unnerving memory, in the least.

**"We arrived at PG0189 at the scheduled time. When we exited the gate, there was a bright flash of light…" **Aiden set down his pen, frowning deeply. The mission had happened nearly a year ago, but the details were still sharp in his mind.

_

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_

"What the hell was that?" John Sheppard demanded as soon as they stepped through the gate, greeted by a brilliant flash of light.

_"I don't know, sir," Aiden replied, his gun up and tight to his shoulder as Dr. McKay pulled out the Ancient device. _

_"There's no life signs nearby," he then consulted the gadget in his other hand, "And no power signs." _

_"Then what's with the flash?" John asked, wary already. _

_"It may have been our eyes adjusting to the atmosphere," Teyla commented. _

_"She's right," Rodney said, lowering his arms, and proceeded to launch into how different their atmosphere was to the one over Atlantis and Earth. Aiden tuned him out—an adaptation of being on the same team with him—and walked ahead. _

* * *

Ford frowned and then continued writing. **"Dr. McKay thought it had something to do with the radioactivity of the atmosphere. Major Sheppard said that we would take samples before we came back to Atlantis. We walked for about two miles—" **Ford considered writing in about Rodney's consistent whining, but decided not to. _'It's sad to think I'll actually miss his moaning and groaning,' _Ford thought seriously. A frown darkened his face as he thought deeper into it. _'I will…I really will,' _he realized, and sighed. It wasn't as if they couldn't see each other ever again. With that firm reminder, he turned back to writing the report. **"—before we reached the civilization. The people of PG0189 (Raccolta, as they called it) looked the same as us. They appeared to have a simple life of nomadic wandering with no knowledge of the Stargate. They did, however, have two ZPMs." **Aiden frowned at the thought of how easily they'd been deceived. Was the need of getting a ZPM so great that they weren't careful enough to be even the slightest bit suspicious of a civilization so willing to give up a ZPM to them?

_

* * *

_

"Don't you think it's the slightest bit odd _that they're just going to hand us a ZPM?" Rodney questioned as he followed John Sheppard to the 'gate. John whirled around, facing the other man. Teyla and Aiden stood to the side, knowing well to stay out of the argument brewing between the two men._

_"Why does it matter, McKay?" he demanded, "Have you not noticed that the Wraith are multiplying? We need that ZPM!" _

_Rodney turned to the other two for help. Ford shrugged. "I admit, it is a little odd, but look at them. They're using one ZPM and they're willing to give the other one up. With the way they're living, that ZPM will last them for another two-hundred years." _

_"What if they're like the Genii?" Rodney protested. _

_"We have to take risks," John replied, and turned, staring Rodney down. "Open the 'gate," he commanded. Rodney stood there for a moment, defiant. Shaking his head, his eyes portraying that he believed they all were making a mistake, he walked over to the DHD and typed in the address of Atlantis. _**

* * *

**

**"The people explained that they had recently discovered the ZPMs. Writing on the walls around indicated that one ZPM was being used to "screen" everyone coming through the 'gate; making sure that they weren't threats. The leader of the people, Turin, requested to take a group of people to Atlantis with the ZPM and speak to Dr. Weir before he gave us the ZPM."** Ford sighed and put down his pen. There was so much to write; too much that he was afraid would jeopardize their new life at Earth. How would the new general, whoever he was, react to the news that the Wraith had found how to disguise themselves as humans? Would Elizabeth's integrity be ruined if they knew she accepted these terms and, in doing so, let a group of Wraith onto Atlantis and inevitably the other Wraith knowing the address to Atlantis? Everything had seemed to go to plan. The group of people had been courteous and nothing less than the perfect guests. Elizabeth, fooled by their manner, told them of Earth.

It was when nearly a week had passed when things started to go wrong. Rodney, John, Aiden and Teyla had begun seeing Wraith in place of the perfect visitors. When John attacked Turin, Elizabeth had vehemently decreed that all of his team be locked up in quarantine until negotiations were finished.

_

* * *

_

"I will give you the power source under one condition," _Turin__ told __Elizabeth__, his hands folded neatly on top of the desk. "I, and I alone, wish to visit Earth. From what I have heard, with this device you will be able to dial home." _

_Elizabeth__ hesitated. She'd been alarmed by the antics of her main team earlier, and it had instilled some doubts in her. Still…they desperately needed the ZPM. 'We can send another burst of data to Earth,' __Elizabeth__ told herself, 'and warn them, just in case…' "Those are acceptable conditions," she told __Turin__, pasting a smile on her face as she did so. _

* * *

When news of her agreement had reached the team, they had developed their own plan. The four had escaped their quarantine. While Teyla and John provided a distraction, Rodney and Aiden had gotten into the control room and, with the help of some Wraith stunners, prevented anyone from stopping them. As Ford watched for people, Rodney had quickly rerouted the address for Earth to a planet that could not hold any life because of constant volcano eruptions. Elizabeth had entered the room just as Rodney backed away from the computer. **"We managed to reroute the address for Earth so when ****Turin**** left, he wouldn't be sent to Earth. By then we'd discovered that the white flash we'd encountered before turned out to be the Wraith's new means of stealth. It made them appear human to our eyes. Everyone we came into contact with was infected with the 'disease'. Dr. Beckett later theorized that there was a defect in the 'disease' that caused it to wear off after a while. In the Ancient 'cameras', the Wraith appeared extremely blurry. Something in their disguise must have partially affected them." **Aiden glanced over to the other side of the folder, where several digits were written. About two years into their lives on Atlantis, they had discovered some Ancient devices that worked nearly the same as cameras. They took around ten pictures each time the 'gate activated. Rodney had figured out a way to interface the devices with laptops so they could give each cluster of pictures a six-digit number. They had found out all too late that the cameras, when operational, sucked tons of power from the ZPMs.

When the day had come for Turin to be sent home, Elizabeth never came to the control room. Two of the other 'visitors' held her captive. Through the intercom, she'd been forced to order the 'gate to open for Turin. Once Turin had left, the other Wraith headed toward the 'gate; Elizabeth with them as not to arouse any more suspicion. Since Turin was gone, the guards allowed John, Rodney, Aiden and Teyla to leave their cell. They headed directly to the 'gate room after stopping by the armory to grab their weapons. When they reached the 'gate room, the Wraith were standing at the foot of the stairs, Elizabeth still between them. **"The Wraith spotted us coming into the 'gate room. They released ****Elizabeth****, and one of the Wraith aimed its weapon at her. Dr. McKay fired all of the bullets in his magazine at the Wraith and pulled ****Elizabeth**** to safety. Dr. Grodin shut down the Stargate and called for backup on the intercom. All of the Wraith were killed." **Dr. Beckett had found that the Wraith had been _created_ in a lab. Their mission was solely stealth, which explained their increased sensory but decreased stamina. **"It is most likely that the Wraith were returning to their planet so they could reveal details about Atlantis to the others, including the 'gate address of Earth. They knew that, given enough power (and only theoretically), any 'gate could connect with Earth. Turin could most likely communicate to the Wraith, even from Earth. Beckett deduced this from the medical exam ****Turin**** had to go through upon arrival. The others didn't have the capacity for mental communication." **After that incident, Earth's address had been coded to prevent anything like that from happening again. And, in the end, they got the ZPM, which they switched with one of the original ZPMs. Because of a way that Dr. Zelenka and Dr. McKay had together found to increase the lifespan of the energy in the ZPMs, all three of the originals could still be powering the city. One had been replaced, however, and used selectively for weapons. The original was used to power the 'cameras', which were only to be activated when people of other worlds came onto Atlantis. In the end, the incident had been worth everything that happened.

Lieutenant Ford stood and walked over to a window, resting his forehead against it. Any _normal _person would want to get out of this place. They were constantly in danger; out of touch with Earth… He sighed. Despite all of that (and perhaps _because_ of it), he didn't want to leave. Atlantis had become his home. Aiden sighed. _'Go with the flow,' _Aiden reminded himself, but sighed once more. How could you go with a flow that was drowning you? But the pure fact of the matter was that no matter _what _Aiden or anyone else thought…at 0800 tomorrow everyone was leaving Atlantis.

**Everyone.**

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**Author's Note:** Hope you enjoyed! Again, many thanks to Hans for the betaing! Feedback is welcome:) I'll post the next chapter around the 11th.

**Thanks to:  
**_PentagonMerlin  
Margaret  
peanut  
Amaunetx  
Lucimon  
Teyla Sheppard (There's upcoming Sheyla in the next chapter ;-) lol)  
Dark Angel31_


	5. Chapter IV

Dr. Elizabeth Weir looked at the people gathered in the 'gate room. Her smile was ghostly, devoid of true feeling, the smile pushed on her face as a front of strength for her people. The last hour on Atlantis had finally struck. Carson had just returned from an emergency trip to the mainland that Elizabeth had granted so he could give the Athosians medicines to use in the expedition's absence. Everything was ready and set. She'd expected John to argue with her about how they should stay on Atlantis…but it had never come. In fact, she didn't think John had uttered a word in the past forty-eight hours. She had seen him wandering the hallways, a lost look on his face, as if the world had betrayed him. And now he didn't even raise a finger to try and stop her from shipping all of Atlantis to Earth? Elizabeth licked her dry lips and looked back at Peter Grodin. He looked uneasy, his eyes searching to her for guidance. She looked away from him and addressed the people of Atlantis over the communication system.

"Over these four years spent on Atlantis, each of you has risked your life for this expedition," her eyes fell on John Sheppard standing close to the stairs, his expression reluctant but subdued. "You have all felt the loss of others who have given their life for this command." Rodney McKay shifted uncomfortably beneath her gaze. "And we have all faced personal challenges." Elizabeth thought of Teyla on the mainland with her people. "To those who have suffered under the hands of the Wraith: thank you," her eyes fell on Aiden Ford this time, who glanced to the 'gate. He wondered, in the powerful silence, whether his grandparents would recognize him or not. Torturously clear were the memories of when he had been abducted by the Wraith and agonized: years of his life being sucked away while he couldn't do anything to stop the pain coursing through him. Four years of his life had been taken from him…but he would give another four to stay on Atlantis. "We all came here for one purpose. Perhaps the people of Earth won't think that this expedition has been entirely victorious, but as individuals, we've all achieved a greater goal. I know I've learned many things—things beyond the new technologies—that I would have never known if I'd stayed on Earth. If we could stay here for a longer period of time, I know we could accomplish even more," Elizabeth looked down at her hands and swallowed. "But that is not up to us."

"John! John!" Major Sheppard turned at the hushed yell, and his eyes widened at the person standing just outside of the gate room.

"Teyla!" he exclaimed, his voice soft as not to alert anyone else to her presence. He walked briskly over to her. Why had she come back? _How _had she come back? Noticing John's departure, Rodney and Aiden turned and followed his path. What's going on?" John asked in a hushed whisper to Teyla, his eyebrows creased. His eyes darted briefly to Carson Beckett, who was standing behind Teyla, a smile on his face.

"As we make our journey back to Earth, I encourage you to be proud of what you've done here," Elizabeth continued, as oblivious to Teyla's entrance as everyone else. She looked over to Peter Grodin, waiting for him to dial Earth's address. He didn't move until she addressed them. "Dial the 'gate," she commanded. Peter paused before sighing and slowly dialing the address home. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected to mournful to be dialing this address. If only it were a dream… "Each of you has inspired generations to come with your bravery. Let us take this moment to remember those who cannot be with us today." Elizabeth bowed her head. The rest of the expedition followed suit. The only sound was that of the chevrons locking into place.

Teyla grinned widely, ignoring the opening of the wormhole. "John…" she said slowly, pausing for a moment before meeting his eyes. "When I answered your question earlier, I wasn't entirely truthful." John frowned for a moment, his expression unreadable. "I did not wish my answer to hinder you. I said no but what I meant…what I…" she pursed her lips. Never before had she been so unable to address this. "Yes, John. I meant yes."

Rodney looked from John to Teyla, catching the happiness glittering in their eyes and feeling quite left out. "What?" he asked, but received no answer. "What's going on?" he turned to Aiden, who shook his head before Rodney could address him further.

Elizabeth's voice came over the speaker once more. "As you step through the 'gate today… Don't think of it as an adventure you were cheated out of; think of it as a beautiful journey coming to its end."

John stared at Teyla, elation pumping through his veins. It was then that Elizabeth's words sunk in. _'No…I can't leave! Not now!' _John thought hurriedly, his heart beating in his chest. He glanced at Aiden and Rodney. He knew they didn't want to go home either. John frowned. He had only been one of the many hollow souls walking around the edges of Atlantis for the past day. John stepped forward, taking Teyla's face in his hands and kissing her on the lips gently before breaking away and dashing up the stairs to the control room, leaving Rodney and Aiden to stare speechlessly at the sudden display of affection.

"Where does he think he's going?" Carson asked, his eyes following John's movement until he was out of sight. Rodney blinked out of his surprise and realization bloomed in his eyes.

"He's stopping this," Rodney said aloud, and turned, running back toward the center of the 'gate room. "**Stop! Don't go through!**" he bellowed, his voice booming through the room. The few people near the wormhole stopped, looking back at Rodney with confusion on their faces.

John Sheppard burst into the control room, his eyes snapping to Peter. "Shut down the 'gate!" he ordered. Elizabeth did not protest as Peter shut the 'gate down with eager fingers.

"What's going on, John?" she asked him. John took a few breaths and looked down at all of the people standing before the 'gate. A low murmur arose as they tried to figure out what was going on. John caught Rodney staring up at them and turned back to Elizabeth.

"We need to talk."

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**Author's Note: **Hope ya liked! Thanks to _Teyla Sheppard_, _Margaret_, and _Dark Angel31_ for the reviews! Chapter 5 will be posted on Friday or so. Please review!


	6. Chapter V

Elizabeth walked into her office, followed closely by John. She sat down behind her desk and stared at him intensely, scrutinizing him. "Care to tell me why you just shut down the 'gate?" she questioned, gesturing in the vague area of the gate room.

"Listen, Elizabeth," John placed his palms on the desk, "Hardly anyone wants to leave here."

"Neither do I, but it's not our choice," Elizabeth told him. She sighed, leaning back in the chair. Her entire body felt weary. Still, she noticed the sudden change in John's eyes and vaguely wondered what had caused it. "We still have an obligation to go back."

"An obligation to go back and get court marshaled?" John asked, his eyes flaring. "We've all broken the rules of conduct. It would be bad for any military personnel to go back."

"You break the rules, you pay for doing it," Elizabeth replied, tossing the pencil she'd been fiddling with onto the desk.

"You don't believe that," John replied, leaning in so they were face to face.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, no emotion showing through her face. "What makes you think that?" she questioned him. "Even in a new galaxy, a new place, you are supposed to uphold the rules that you agreed to uphold."

"That's a load of bullshit," John burst out. "You've broken as many rules as we have."

"Yes, I have," Elizabeth muttered, massaging her temples with her fingers. "And I'd love to stay John, I really would, but I don't see how we can."

"We won't go through the 'gate," John answered simply.

"And then what?" Elizabeth prompted, "When they dial the 'gate again what do we do?"

"We tell them that we want to stay here."

"They'll send people through the 'gate to recover Atlantis."

"We'll put up the shield!" John exclaimed wildly. Elizabeth stood up abruptly, a look of horror on her face.

"I am **not **going to kill innocent people of Earth!"

"And that's exactly why they know we're going to come back! This is **home**, Elizabeth, home! People have died for this! Are you going to just let their deaths be in vain?"

"We've collected valuable technology—"

"Oh, don't feed me that crap," John hissed. "You know it and I know it. Why we're here…we haven't achieved our goal yet. You can feel it; I can feel it; everyone can feel it! Hell, even _Rodney_ feels it! There's something out there we're meant to find, something everything we've sacrificed for leads up to." He looked her in the eye. She looked away, biting her lower lip.

"I can't kill innocent people," she said, "I can't allow you to raise the shield."

"We don't have to! We can just bluff," John insisted.

"They know we won't, John," she told him, and he shook his head, seeing the decision she was reaching in her eyes.

"Don't do it…" he warned, his voice low.

"I'm sorry John, but at this point I have no other choice!" Elizabeth told him. There was a long, strained silence between the two as they glared at each other. Elizabeth turned around, running a hand through her hair, staring at the wall. A million thoughts ran through her head; a million scenarios, and in none of them could they escape their predetermined fate. She let her eyelids fall shut for a moment before she opened them again, her decision made. "You have until 2000 tonight," she told him.

John smiled as she turned. As soon as she nodded to him he turned, jogging out of her office. As he suspected, Rodney, Teyla and Aiden were there, not to mention, surprisingly, Peter, Zelenka and Carson. "We have twelve hours," he announced to their unspoken question, his eyes moving to Rodney.

Rodney took the hint. "Saving Atlantis again; I'm on it," he announced.

"We need to get a plan," Aiden said seriously. "We can't just randomly see what we can do on a computer; that could take ages."

"What about those who wish to go to Earth?" Teyla questioned, and they paused. Aiden thought briefly of his grandparents. He missed them deeply. _'They would understand,' _he thought to himself, a faint smile on his face.

"We'll dial Earth once and send them with technologies that we've found," Carson answered, "can't we?"

"They won't think we're a total failure," Peter commented.

"We have to stop them from connecting a wormhole with us," John said.

"There is a system of the Ancients that will block ze address," Zelenka started.

"But that will permanently block it," Rodney said, shaking his head vehemently as he pointed toward Zelenka and addressed the group. "I don't know how to override the system. We wouldn't have contact with Earth for a long time…maybe even permanently."

"We'll find a way to override it. Everyone will have a choice whether or not to stay," John said. He glanced at Teyla and then back to the others. "They'll know that they might not ever see their loved ones again." He threaded his fingers with Teyla's, squeezing her hand lightly.

"I can send a data burst through the wormhole again," Rodney said. "We can compile the mission reports and another round of personal messages for anyone wishing to stay," he spoke quickly. They could do this… A grin engulfed his face.

"All right," John smiled. From what it sounded like…it wasn't impossible. It was, in fact, _very _possible. "Rodney, you go tell Elizabeth about the plan."

"Why me?" Rodney asked, throwing his hands up.

John sighed heavily as he faced Rodney. "I will be typing up the remaining mission reports," he said, taking the job upon himself, "with Teyla," he added, glancing at her. "Zelenka will be working out how to put Earth's address onto the block list as soon as we send the data burst and people through. Carson will be getting any medical technologies to send through; Ford will be taping with Grodin and Bates will be sorting out the military technologies. You can't do anything until all of us are done," he reminded Rodney.

"Fine," he muttered.

John turned to the others. "Radio me once something-_anything_-is done. Don't get distracted. We have twelve hours." The others nodded and departed their separate ways. Teyla turned to John, a quizzical look on her face.

"Nearly all of the mission reports have been filed onto the computer," she reminded him, positive that there were very few, if any, reports to get onto the computer, unlike what John had told Rodney and the others. She remembered clearly Elizabeth's amused congratulatory comment about getting the mission reports typed up on time a few weeks ago. "Why did you send Rodney to talk to Elizabeth?" Teyla questioned.

John snorted and then smiled, looking down at her. "Sometimes people just need a little nudge in some aspects of their life; by fate or…" there was a mischievous glint in his eyes, "…other means."

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**Author's Note: **Sorry this story hasn't been updated lately, I've been trying to upload it for the past few days but wouldn't let me onto the login page. What's up with that? Anyhow, thank you all for reviewing!


	7. Chapter VI

" Elizabeth?" Rodney called cautiously as he peered around the door leading onto the balcony beside Elizabeth's office.

"I'm here," she replied. Rodney stepped onto the balcony, walking over next to her. He mimicked her pose, resting his forearms on the railing. "Done already?" Elizabeth asked dryly, looking down at her hands. Rodney looked at her for a long minute, taking in every detail of her face before he replied.

"We've come up with a plan," Rodney said slowly.

"Already?" Elizabeth asked. She turned to him, her brows furrowed.

Rodney smiled. "Yep."

"What is it?"

McKay hesitated for a long moment. The plan wasn't exactly foolproof, but he knew they could pull it off. "We discovered a way to put addresses on a sort-of…block list," Rodney said.

"You can do that for Earth's?"

"Yes," Rodney bit his lip.

"…but?"

"_But_ we wouldn't be able to dial home until we've figured out how to override the system and if we override the system it could cause the cataclysmic destruction of the mainframe," Rodney said quickly.

Elizabeth let out a long breath. "So what you're saying is that we might never be able to dial Earth's 'gate ever again?"

"Yes," Rodney said, "But in due time we might—"

"No might, would, should, could…" Elizabeth sighed. "At worst, what does it mean?"

"Earth can't dial here, we can't dial there. No information exchange."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Elizabeth relented, closing her eyes.

"Zelenka is figuring out the specifics of putting the address onto the 'block list'," Rodney told her. "We're organizing a data burst like we did before the first Wraith attack." Elizabeth nodded. There was a long pause before Rodney spoke again, his voice concerned. "Are you all right, Elizabeth?" she nodded numbly. "We don't have to go back to Earth," he said, "Aren't you happy?"

"I suppose," Elizabeth looked back to the sea waters and sighed. "I just can't help but be skeptical. What if it doesn't work?"

"Then we'll try again," Rodney said, his resolve hard.

Elizabeth turned to look at him, her eyes gentle but piercing. "Why do you want to stay here so bad?" she questioned softly.

"We're in the city of the Ancients, Elizabeth," he answered, "The technology is—"

"Yes, it's all great and wonderful, Rodney, but you could have stayed on Earth and looked at amazing pieces of technology," Elizabeth said. "You have family at home."

Rodney frowned. "Are you asking me why I'm staying or why I came in the first place?"

"Both, I guess," she replied, looking back to the sea.

Rodney followed her gaze. "I was looking for something different, I guess. It felt like I was missing a whole part of my life. I was searching for something…" he stared at her, watching her watching the soft waves of the water. "…and I found it here."

Elizabeth looked down at her folded hands and sighed softly. "You should get to work on the data compression," she said finally.

Rodney struggled to mask his disappointment as he nodded and headed back inside. Once the door sealed behind him he sighed, fisting his hand as he walked. _'Stupid, stupid, stupid,' _he repeated over in his head, the word becoming a mantra.

"McKay!" Sheppard's voice reached his ears. Rodney sighed exasperatedly and turned to see the Major running up to him. "What happened?"

"She said that it didn't sound too bad," Rodney replied, realizing that he hadn't really gotten a straight answer out of her yet.

"I guess that's a step in the right direction," Sheppard said.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" Rodney asked.

"What? Why can't I be in a good mood?"

"Because if we screw this up we're going to be condemned to live the rest of our lives out on Earth: is _that _a good enough reason?" Rodney asked.

"So did you tell her how you feel about her?"

"Well I—what!" Rodney stopped, nearly caught in the other man's trickery. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Oh come on, McKay! Everyone knows you have a thing for her!"

"That's ridiculous! I'm her friend and I admire her leadership—"

"Yeah, and with you leadership leads to making out with girls and getting mano."

"Hey! No one else was supposed to see that tape!"

Teyla Emmagen watched from just around the corner as the two men argued. She sighed and rolled her eyes, walking past them and heading in the direction that Rodney had just come. John was right…sometimes people needed a little nudge. _'Does he really think mockery and fighting is going to help?' _Teyla asked herself, a smile on her face as she thought of his laughable techniques. "Elizabeth Weir," she said as she stepped out onto the balcony, nodding her head to the other woman.

"Teyla!" Elizabeth greeted, nodding to Teyla as well. "What brings you out here? Aren't you supposed to be on the mainland?"

"I wish to speak with you," Teyla informed her bluntly.

"About what?"

"Rodney."

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**Author's Note: **Short chapter and long time between updates; my deepest apologies! Hope you enjoyed this chapter anyway!


	8. Chapter VII

"What? Rodney? Is he all right?" Elizabeth asked, alarmed.

"I'm not here to talk about that," Teyla said hurriedly, putting up her hands, "He is fine."

"Oh," Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief, and then frowned. "Why do you need to speak with me?" she asked.

"I do not wish for you to think that I am meddling in your affairs, so if you believe I have crossed the line, inform me and I shall stop," Teyla told Elizabeth as they faced one another. Teyla took a deep breath before speaking, "Rodney cares a lot for you."

"He cares a lot for a lot of people, as surprising as it may seem," Elizabeth evaded.

"You specifically," Teyla focused on her.

"Are you suggesting that Rodney has feelings for me…like _that_?" Elizabeth asked, her face betraying no emotion.

"I am," Teyla replied. "I am confident that he does. However…this conversation is not about how he feels about you; it is meant to be how you feel about him."

"He is a good friend," Elizabeth replied, stonewalling Teyla.

"Is he not more?" Teyla prompted.

"It would be inappropriate for us to—"

"It is not against the rules," Teyla replied, "I spoke to John and he explained that it applies to people of the military, and you are not one. You _and _Dr. McKay are civilians to your government."

"More or less," Elizabeth replied.

"Listen, this conversation does not need to excel beyond the borders of our own ears," Teyla informed her steadily. "If you do not wish for the others to know I will not let them know."

"I appreciate it Teyla but…"

"You do not feel the same way?" Teyla prompted.

Elizabeth hesitated, wincing inwardly. No matter how much Teyla promised in one way or another it might get back to Rodney and if she said no to Teyla's question… Elizabeth hated to think of the repercussions. "It's not that it's just…"

"You're afraid of feeling the same way?"

"I…" Elizabeth looked at Teyla. _'Why am I blocking her out?' _Elizabeth wondered. One person could only remain in solitude for so long. Teyla was a trustworthy person. "I guess," Elizabeth said finally.

Teyla smiled gently, putting her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. "No one will think that you are any less of a leader to have feelings. Feelings are what make you a strong leader. If you deny one feeling then you eventually deny them all."

"You should take your own advice, Teyla," Elizabeth said, turning the tables on the other woman. Teyla simply smiled. "Wait…" Elizabeth paused, tilting her head. "You came to talk to John, didn't you?" she asked. Teyla nodded, and Elizabeth grinned. "It sure took you guys long enough."

"And now it is your turn," Teyla replied, smiling. "Do not deny your feelings. Embrace them."

"I don't know…"

"Think of how much happier you would be," Teyla insisted. "Do you not feel pained when you think of him and you are not together?"

"I…" Elizabeth looked away, her throat tightening. Teyla noticed her closing up before she even said the words. "I think you've crossed the line, Teyla," she said, her voice odd.

"Very well," Teyla said, her words as cool as Elizabeth's. Their eyes met. Elizabeth looked away, afraid to meet Teyla's calm stare. "If do ever need to talk, my door is open." Teyla walked away, the door sliding shut behind her.

Elizabeth sighed, running a hand through her hair. How did it get from saving Atlantis to her feelings for Rodney, anyway? _'The plans will work,' _Elizabeth thought, and she smiled faintly. _'So why was I so sad about it?' _Deep down, she knew the answer why. She'd been afraid…afraid that Rodney would go back to Earth. She had sensed something at the end of their conversation… Elizabeth shifted her weight onto her other foot. Uncertainty was never something she dealt well with; ironic considering her previous profession. _'It just can't be,' _Elizabeth told herself, _'It wouldn't work out…'_

No matter how desperately she wanted it to.

Elizabeth sighed, turning back to face the water. She'd admitted—albeit begrudgingly—long ago that she'd developed strong feelings for Rodney McKay somewhere along the way. So why was it affecting her so much _now_? _'Because now he seems to be interested in me,' _she answered her own question, _'and I have to push him away for the good of Atlantis.' _Teyla's words echoed through Elizabeth's head, and the leader of Atlantis dipped her head. _'It's against regulations for a leader to be involved with someone under her command…' _she protested, but immediately her thoughts contradicted themselves. _'You're breaking off all contact with Earth; regulations don't really matter.'_

Elizabeth bit her tongue lightly as she watched a lone bird sail through the sky on extended wings. She was briefly reminded of her wish to visit the mainland to see what sort of wildlife was there. _'I suppose that's one of the reasons I want to stay,' _she thought, watching the majestic brown animal soar, _'The wonders of someplace new.' _

But try as she might; there was a greater force at work that was keeping her feet rooted firmly in Atlantis: her love for Rodney. _'If you love him so much, then why do you keep thinking up reasons why it wouldn't work?' _Elizabeth questioned herself.

Deep down, she knew the answer. She was afraid. The days without Simon had been long and torturous; even now she felt a small pang in her chest whenever she thought of him. She didn't want to have that hurt again—she couldn't handle it. What if it didn't work out? What if Rodney died on a mission? Elizabeth's hands tightened on the banister as a realization came to her.

It did not matter _what _the title of their relationship was: she was already in over her head. She wouldn't feel any different now if Rodney got hurt than she would if they were together when he did. Weir turned away from the balcony and leaned against the banister, thinking.

She had been holding back out of fear of getting herself hurt. So caught up in the titles she had paid no attention to her feelings…and she'd put herself in a position to get hurt again. But then… She though of the happy time with Simon.

Maybe being in that position was worth it; worth it to be with Rodney.

Maybe.

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**Author's Note: **Deepest apologies for the lack of updates. Life and other fanfiction has caught up to me. I promise I'll try to get this fic sorted out. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. In the next chapter, we get some Ford and some Sheppard. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!


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